Friday, April 23, 2010

JJ Method 7: Born to Be Popular

There are some people in this world who were literally destined to be popular. The people with the same exact sense of style as the popular people, the same interests, same hairstyle, same everything, and not a wannabe-fake bone in their body. This method will only work if you're truly born to be popular but just weren't born into adequate circumstances and have a brother who's either 2, 3, 4, or maybe even 5 years older than you, 3 being preferable.

1) Train your older sibling to be a complete loser. Give him glasses and out-dated, poor fitting clothing. Make him super smart and socially awkward. Be sure he fits in well with the nerd community, though. Don't brand him as a loner so he's not destined to kill himself because he's so lonely and sad.

2) When you come into school on the first day, be sure to surround yourself with your freshman friends and look like you really enjoy your life. If the upperclassmen feel like you need to be with them to be popular and happy, they won't let you be with them simply to feel powerful.

3) Be sure to get into electives like chorus, band, art, or whatever your school offers that has multiple grades in it. That way, you'll be flaunting your popularity potential around the popular upperclassmen.

4) Because of your unpopular sibling, people will be watching you, expecting you to be a pathetic loser. They'll be hoping you're an easy target because all upperclassmen need a freshman to pick on. So all eyes will be on you when you wow them with your awesomeness.

5) Don't act like you care that they're impressed with you. However, because you share their interests, you'll be around them all the time, whether it be at basketball or softball practice, cheer tryouts, play rehearsals, club meetings, or whatever it is you guys do. Soon you'll have no choice but to start interacting with these people on a familiar, friendly basis.

6) Start working on cheers/practicing drills/0rganizing projects/whatever you'll be doing with your new popular friends, not overenthusiastically, but like you want to be successful and fun. Soon, your popular freshmen peers will begin to notice you hanging with these upperclassmen and grow curious.

7) Don't gloat! It's no big deal, you're just working on something together.

8) Soon, you'll be invited to high school parties not even the popular freshmen can get into. Make sure they know, but don't be the one to tell them. Now, they've got no choice but to hang out with you, if not to find out what it is you have that they don't.

9) Soon your popular peers will realize that you're just like them and befriend you rather than sabotage you (which may have been their initial plan). Continue to hang out with your older popular friends as well as the new, younger ones.

10) It's pretty clear you're popular, and I actually didn't make you sacrifice anything other than maybe your brother's social status. Your turn, Basil :)

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