JJ Method 2: Unexpected Stardom

The Unexpected Stardom method requires more effort than the British Trap, but takes considerably less time. It also provides one with a stronger sense of self-pride, with popularity derived from their own skill rather than their sibling.

I've only been to one high school in my life, but the one I went to featured a large group of popular people in the drama department, with some of the most popular students at school starring in some of the lead or supporting roles. (Note: I'm a drama-club member myself, though, so just doing the plays doesn't guarantee you immediate popularity.) The school play is an easy way for students to make friends, show-off their talent without becoming "show-offs," and, most importantly, get every student in the school to know they exist. By utilizing this resource, one can achieve great popularity.

Here are some simple steps to help you get ridiculous popularity.

1) Spend the summer after your 8th grade year searching for a magical genie or enchanted giraffe (I personally prefer the latter but I've heard rumors that the first is easier to find). Force it to grant you amazing grace and dance skill as well as acting ability and vocal talent comparable to that of Idina Menzel.

2) On the first day of freshman year, don't say a word to anyone. I'm not telling you to become friendless, just don't talk to your friends during school, or at least not when within earshot of popular students, especially those who interact with the music department.

3) On the day of school play auditions, be sure to go on the day that most students will be there. Everyone will be somewhat intrigued just to hear what your voice sounds like, so you'll have their attention when you begin. That way they'll be captivated by your ah-mazing voice for the audition from start to finish.

4) Go back to being quiet as soon as the audition's over. People are bound to come up to you with oceans of praise. Smile graciously and say "thanks" in the tiniest, timidest voice possible.

5) Act amazed when you wind up with the lead. "What? Oh, this isn't right! I'm glad I'm just in the show!" Be sure to smile humbly and congratulate anyone and everyone who walks by you when you check the cast list.

6) Even during rehearsal, remain quiet and introspective unless you're performing. Eventually, all the other performers in the cast will grow increasingly interested in the quiet kid and begin talking to you.

7) Selectively begin speaking to students, choosing about 2 from each clique and grade so to ensure a wide variety of friends in a vast array of places. These students will be honored that you've chosen them to talk to and will hold you up to a high standard. By word of mouth, you will become popular by expectation.

8) During the performance, be sure to nail everything. Because of the magic giraffe, this shouldn't be a problem.

9) After the cast during the party, be sure to wear pigtails (or two braids) so you look adorable. Give a speech thanking everyone for helping you "come out of your shell" and "meet new people." Say you were "going through some hard stuff" at the beginning of the year, but thanks to everyone's support in the theater community, you've had a change of heart and have been inspired. Everyone will be so touched by the way they've touched you (yeah, people are selfish like that, it's how the human brain works) that they'll start spending time with you regardless of the rehearsal schedule.

10) Enjoy being popular. I know, I've done it again. Feel free to worship me.