JJ Method 4: Parental Help

As demonstrated by the British Trap, who you have representing you in school makes a big difference as to how people will perceive you. But if you're low on cool, attractive, or even existent older siblings, there's always someone else in the building to rely on: you're parents. This one, though, must be done carefully. Because it can either make you immensely popular or a complete loser. But if you worship these simple steps like they are your god, then consider yourself p-o-p-u-l-a-r. (Also note: If you really enjoy your family, then I don't suggest this method. Also, if you hate blood or death, also avoid it.)

1) Examine your school as a whole. What is something all the popular students are involved in? Is it sports or theater? Or maybe something artistic or musical? Whatever it is, find out what it is and who's in charge of it. This should lead you to that teacher everyone either loves or hates because he either makes their high school experience perfect or makes them want to transfer. That's the only person more powerful than the principal because all the students care about what he says and all the administrators know it.

2) Grow really close to this teacher so that he becomes like a father to you. Make him love you like you're the child he never had.

3) Find someone who's a generally violent and criminal-esque student who is known for hating on you and making your life hard. It must be someone who's been to a juvenile detention center and lives near you. Invite them over for the night for a sleepover and then kill both him and your parents. Use gloves so to leave no fingerprints but be sure to get his all over the knife and dead bodies. Then accuse him of the murder with tears in your eyes. Tell of him killing your parents, lunging for you, and then killing himself. This not only gets you closer to popularity but also eliminates your enemy.

4) Go crying to the teacher mentioned in steps 1 and 2. Tell him you're going to get shipped out of the state to a foster home or something if no one adopts you or takes up guardianship of you. If you've gotten close enough to the teacher, he should opt to adopt or at least take up temporary guardianship because he feels you shouldn't be deprived of a normal childhood.

5) Complain about the awkwardness of living with said teacher to your "close friends." And by close friends, I mean the biggest gossips in school. Tell them not to tell anyone, which of course just tempts them more to tell people. Pretty soon, everyone knows who your dad is.

6) In time, people will come to realize that you having such a powerful dad means that a friendship with you could get them places. More importantly, any tension or awkward fighting between you two will get them stuck nowhere. So even if they don't like you, no one will attack you to your face ever again.

7) Now you get to be obnoxiously outgoing and no one will ever be able to complain. Talk to anyone, no one'll tell you to shut up because of their fear that you'll tell your Dad.

8) Soon the popular kids will realize you actually have something to offer as far as a friendship goes and they will truly accept you. Even those that don't will never speak out.

9) Get to know all the teachers in a family friend way. Now even the students who don't respect your father will respect you if not just so not all of the teachers fail them.

10) Respected, admired, drowning in popular friends... seems to me you're popular.