JJ Method 1: The British Trap

The classic "British Trap" combines the two most important aspects of popularity, creating a simple and easy way to get on top. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about a deliciously cool older sibling and a deliciously british accent. It meshes the easiest way to get your name out there with the most attractive feature any guy can have.

The English Trap is fool-proof if you follow these few easy steps.

1) Visit all the British foster homes, abandoned alleys, and orphanages to find a hot 16-year-old british boy with the most amazing accent ever who looks great with no shirt on.

2) Adopt this British boy out of the kindness of your heart. Be sure to make it clear it was your idea, that way he'll love you and worship you for saving him from a scary and boring life of british orphanages/abandoned alleys/foster homes.

3) Do a bit of stalking and figure out what courses the majority of the popular juniors and seniors are taking. This way, you can be sure that you recommend your popular british brother (who I'm going to start calling Henry now because that sounds like a delicious British name) for all those classes. Because there's no language barrier, he should soon get approved.

4) While Henry's making new friends, be sure to check in with him constantly. Aim to have the same lunch period so you two can spend some time together everyday.

5) Soon, the popular children will notice this single (meaning not dating and therefore totally available) piece of British awesomeness and start hanging out with him. Because he's your brother, you will in turn share the spotlight with Henry (considering he practically owes you his life since you saved him and brought him here).

6) As he grows closer to other students and becomes more involved in the school (I suggest recommending he try out for football or basketball), he should start bringing friends home. Be sure to take note of his schedule so you'll always "coincidentally" be at the house when the friends visit.

7) In two years, Henry has now gone to college. However, the popular upperclassmen have gotten to know you a lot better. Try to be in one of their electives and sit down next to them. Then watch in awe as they begin to talk to you.

8) Revel in the awesomeness of your popularity.

9) Don't get comfortable and fall into just this group of friends. Remember, these students are probably a year older than you and if you don't socialize with your peers, you'll wind up lonely senior year. Continue to branch out to more groups of people. Because everyone sees you with the popular upperclassmen, they'll approach you with friendly and sociable expectations, which they'll assume you meet (even if you don't).

10) Say thanks to me for making your life awesome and enjoy popularity. It's fun to be on top.