Basil Method 4: Gentle Help

I sincerely apologize to JJ and our imaginary readers for not posting (and writing) this sooner....vacation really makes you forget just about EVERYTHING

Ok, so I see that JJ has a good concept and all, but what if you like your parents? Honestly, her method is just way too violent and I personally would not enjoy having my parents killed. This method combines JJ's basic concepts with a less-violent way to do it :)

1. Same as JJ's method, examine who in the school holds the power of the students. This may be the music teacher, an athletic coach or whoever you may feel is generally liked by the majority of the student body.

2. Once again, grow close to said teacher until they become like a second parent. Also, have the teacher become the best friend of your parents, enough so they would trust him/her with their child (hint hint).

3. This is where JJ's method get's a bit violent, so I've changed it so your parents don't end up dead. Instead of finding a criminal to murder your parents, simply win the lottery and send them on a year-long vacation to the Bahamas, leaving you without a legal guardian for a year. (also, if you attempted Basil Method 1, the "British Oh, Snap!" you have a smexy British boy in your closet at this point as well, of whom you are all alone with...)

4. Go to said teacher and have him/her take you in, since he/she is very close with you parents and is trusted to watch over you for the year your parents are gone.

5. Now we're back on the track to the JJ method, since you now have to complain about living with said teacher to the biggest gossips in school, spreading the word around.

6. People will want to hang around with you to gain the acceptance of the most amazing and spectacularicious teacher in the school.

7. Eventually, the kids mentioned above will see you as a valuable friend, just in time for your parents to arrive back home from the Bahamas.

8.Now, you'll have the respect of a large number of students in the school, as well as alive and breathing parents. Sure, your mortal enemy won't be gone when usuing this method, but you'll have so many great friends that they'll just be irrelevant. Good, no?