Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Basil Method 8: It's Insane How Unlike JJ's Post This is, So It's Really Hard to Find a Rhyming Name

After a short...err...not-so-short...hiatus, I, Basil, have returned to finally respond to the post that JJ wrote up so long ago. Yeah, sorry for being insanely inconsistent and such...
I read through JJ's post and immediately came up with an insanely amazing idea for my post, complete with rhyming name and all. However, it's been a few weeks, and I tend to forget things that are actually importatnt (yes, blogging does fall under that category). Therefore, my amazing idea, title and all, decided to go and elope with my original idea for Basil Method #5, and therefore will not return. I did, however, find another celebrity-esque method, but it has nothing to do with parents. Or LA. Or being adopted. But JJ was telling me to post something, so here it is.

So you've finally reached method #8 (technically, 16 if you want to count the fact that there are two methods per number). All your other efforts at obtaining popularity have failed. You searched the streets day in and day out for a British boy, only happening to come across two guys from Greenland and a handful from Germany.You became the star of the musical, but it only gave you some small elementary school fangirls and some jealous upperclassmen. You went out and bought a fancy schmancy camera, but all it got you was a disc full of pictures you don't have the time to upload. Well, now's your chance to obtain that popularity you've been striving for. How? Through some celeb action, of course.

1. Remember that amazing singing voice that got you the lead in the school musical as a freshman? No? Well, it's there (or if it's not, refer to your resident magical alpaca for some help with that), and you should probably make use of it. After the musical, many have forgotten your amazing theater skills, focusing back to People magazine or some cheesy gossip blogs (while stopping by degrassipwns.blogspot.com for all their Degrassi needs) for new info to tell. This is where I finally start to tell you what to do. Grab your singing voice and an open audition schedule for a Broadway show that's either opening or re-casting. It's best to go with re-casting, since people already know what the show is and it's already popular. However, you want to aim for a lead role, so do whatever's available.

2. Nail that audition. I mean, with your insanely amazing singing voice and decent enough dancing skills, how could you not? You'll amaze the director and instantly obtain a role in the show. This role doesn't even have to be a lead role for the popularity aspect, but with that singing voice (and a magical alpaca who can ake you look the part as well), you're sure to grab a lead.

3. Rehearsals should be starting soon and will probably be lasting a while, but keep the whole thing under wraps and don't tell a soul. Act as if everything is perfectly normal and continue on with your life as always.

4.Finally it's opening night for a Broadway show (will it flop, or will it go? The cast is taking-...okay, I'll stop now with the showtunes). That first night, blow the audience's socks off (well, you don't really need me to tell you to do that). The good reviews will come rushing in, striking newspapers and television shows everywhere, your name being mentioned in every single one.

5. Returning to school, you'll find a TON of people beginning to notice you. Not just the theater nerds, but EVERYONE. Why? Well, if that exclusive cast party the news had full coverage of wasn't enough, then maybe your recent connections with some Broadway and TV stars will be. Now, note that at this point, the popular kids most likely won't be friends with you. Why? Broadway connections aren't enough. Sure, they'll envy you, but TV is where the action's at, and that's where you're headed next. On the flip side, if your school is already bowing down to you because of your Broadway show, then feel free to bask in it and skip the rest of this method.

6. Find a teenage TV actor that's into Broadway and that is associated with FOX. Don't ask me who this could be, since I am almost completely dead to pop culture. Charm him with your fascinating good looks and perfect personality (complements of the magical alpaca, of course) until your new relationship is all over the tabloids to the point where the two of you have a combined name.

7. Your connections with said TV actor will eventually earn you a walk-in role on his show, or perhaps a featured part for an episode. Whatever it may be, do it well. Even better than the actors/actresses that are actually in the show. Next thing you know, you've got a part in Glee as a result of your amazing talent and awesomeness, since the FOX people happened to stop by during your featured role, and they've already seen your current Broadway show due to an inconspicuous invite complete with backstage passes.

8. Here's where you attract the kids to you. You're now on Glee, one of the most popular shows that hit televistion for the past year, but tfilming doesn't start for a few months, so you can finish the school year. Sit back and watch as the popular kids flock to you, hoping for your attention so they can snag invites to some sort of red-carpet party in NYC. Grant the invites to them, of course, and now, not only are you the envy of the school, but you've got a posse to go with it.

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